How To Get Rid Of The Habit Of Negative Thinking

Kumar Gauraw

Do you realize everyone has a continuous stream of internal monologue running in their heads all the time? While walking, reading, listening to a song, talking to a friend, eating food or doing almost anything – we are always talking to ourselves in our own mind.

Negative Thoughts Lower Your Self-Esteem

Our internal monologue has a powerful impact on how we feel, how we behave, and how we live our lives. Unfortunately, most of us are largely unaware of it even happening, while much of what goes on within our mind is automatically negative. Too often, this internal monologue consists of extremely unhelpful thoughts that often hinder our effectiveness, productivity and attitude.

The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. ―Albert Einstein  [tweet this]

Some of the dominant thoughts which occupy your mind and affect your mindset in a negative way must be controlled and be diluted intentionally.

Here are 6 things you can do to suppress the negative internal monologue that tends to bother you (and me) when we let it. I hope you consider this list and use the information to eliminate the negativity from your mind going forward. So, here is the list:

1. Work Hard To Impress Yourself Not Others

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.  ~Bill Cosby  [tweet this]

I’ve been victim to this mentality in the past and I know for certain, this seriously hurts our self-esteem. When you are doing something only to please others, which is a clear indication that you don’t believe in yourself, it is going to make you unhappy sooner or later. It is impossible to be happy trying to be just what others want you to be.

You and I are each unique. Our talents and our personalities are different. We are not perfect either. Don’t make your decisions for popularity or based on what others think is right for you. Listen to your heart. Find out what you want. Follow what your gut tells you to do. 

You can spend your entire life trying to impress everyone around you.  One thing is almost guaranteed, it will not get you very far.

Sometimes, we do things intentionally to impress people just to get an ego boost. Well, that isn’t the right thing to do, is it? That’s almost not being yourself and obviously bad for your self-esteem.

The best person to impress is YOU. If you really want to impress someone, impress yourself by being your true self. Do things that matter to you. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you aren’t worried about what everyone around you thinks about you.

2. Put Your Focus On Solutions Not On Problems

The law of attraction says that whatever we think about dominantly, we attract more of it in our lives.

Have you seen people who talk about avoiding problems, they want to avoid all pot holes in front of them before they take their first step? And interestingly, have you noticed they get more potholes than anybody else around them?

That is because the law of attraction works whether or not we believe in it. When you think more about the problems you are faced with, you attract more of it. Besides, focusing on problems rarely helps matters.

Be grateful for all the blessings you have in your life today. If you are faced with a challenge, think how to resolve it. Perhaps, seek help with an optimistic mindset that you are bigger than the challenge. You will be delighted in how the universe will align itself to help you find a solution.

3. Do Not Live In Fear – Take Risks

 The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.  ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt               [tweet this]

Think about this:

  • Henry Ford failed miserably five times before he became the success that he is known for today.
  • Colonel Sanders was out of business in 1967. He went to over 1000 places trying to sell his chicken recipe before he found a buyer interested in his herbs and spices. It then took him seven more years before his KFC became a success.
  • Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas. He failed in several of his ventures long before his success with Disney Cartoons and the Disney Land project.
  • Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and didn’t read until he was seven. His teacher described him as “mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in his foolish dreams.”
  • The movie Star Wars was rejected by every major movie studio in Hollywood before 20th-Century Fox finally produced it. It went on to be one of the largest grossing movies in film history.

As a matter of fact, the real culprit that keeps you from achieving greatness is fear. And the main reason why your fears have so much power over you is – you give your fears this power by thinking about them so often.

There is a very interesting TED Talk by Regina Dugan where she says:

Failure is a part of creating new and amazing new things. We can’t both fear failure and make amazing new things. [tweet this]

Please take the time to watch this video. You will glean some amazing information in a short but wonderful presentation.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear you will make one. ~Elbert Hubbard   [tweet this]

4.  Do Not Dwell On The Past

You and I have a choice to hold onto old mistakes and dwell on them, or to accept the past as history and make better use of the present to create a brighter future.

My mentor taught me early on that to make progress you must stop reading the previous chapters of your life and start writing new ones. 

We should definitely learn from our past so we can make a better tomorrow. That doesn’t mean you keep dwelling on it and feeling sorry for yourself.

There is no progress left in the past. Once you stop living in the past, then you realize that you will grow stronger and better. Who you are today is because of what you did yesterday and what you are doing now is creating your tomorrow.

We all have faced failures and committed mistakes. But it’s time to be bold. It’s time to accept the past and move on. It’s time to push your spirit forward with a positive mental attitude.

5. Don’t Just Think – Act On Your Dreams

In my earlier post about overcoming procrastination, I had shared that we usually complain that our days are few and acting as though there will be no end of them.

We all have dreams and goals. We all desire great things from our lives and we truly want to make it happen. However, we aren’t really taking appropriate action to match the size of our dreams.

We are the people who have these dreams but we endlessly put off things until tomorrow and the next day – every day. 

My business coach said in the beginning that a dream without action is a fantasy. Having a dream without an action plan is exactly like a beautiful car without an engine. That’s true because not having an action plan or not acting on our dreams adversely affects our self-image.

It is very important to not just have dreams and goals but to act on them. Never let the guilty feeling of “I didn’t do what I was supposed to do today” come to you.

Make a game plan and take action every day to make it happen. This will yield tremendous positive results in your life. Action always cures fear and doubt!

6. Don't Worry About Situations Beyond Your Control

Many times there are things that you and I have no control over. Some situations and natural disasters, such as bad weather, earthquakes etc. are not in your control. In business, you may have an unexpectedly tough situation that is beyond your control. Is there anything you can do about it?

If you can’t control a situation, why worry about it? Why cry about it anyway?

Early in my business, when one of my organizations was on an aggressive growth path and another of my organizations didn’t have any significant momentum, I went to my business coach to discuss the situation. He said, “Focus on where things are happening, and stop worrying about the places where nothing is happening.”

He was right. Worry never fixes anything. By focusing on things that are under my control, I was able to achieve more success without frustrating anybody else.

I challenge you to always look for situations where you have control and focus your energy on that, rather than putting your focus on situation that are out of your reach. You will be much happier, healthier and successful if you just practice this.

Your Turn – Share Your Thoughts Now

How do you feel when you see somebody you care about sabotaging their own self-esteem and future due to their own negative thought process? Do you think some of these steps may help them? If you found these steps useful, please share this post with your friends.

Also, I look forward to learning from you in the comments. Please share your thoughts by clicking here. Thank you kindly!

Kumar Gauraw

Posts Twitter Facebook

Kumar Gauraw is a Personal Branding & Social Media strategist helping entrepreneurs and skilled professionals achieve personal and professional success by developing leadership and leveraging the power of the Internet, Blogging and Social Media.

17 Awesome Thoughts So Far, Add Yours Now...

  1. Rose

    Hello Kumar, This is a very timely post for me. Thank you for this today. I will share this with my friends.

    • You are welcome Rose. Glad to know you enjoyed the post.

  2. Aistis Zidanavicius

    Great post, Kumar! To sum up all above I could say that most people never start living their own life, so the best time to do that is TODAY!!!

    • Absolutely Aistis. You said it right. That’s exactly what is needed. Thank you for being precise!

  3. Hi there Kumar,

    Indeed, beautifully said. Every time I read your post, I gotta learn some new and fresh thinking. Thank you. You are a blessing to everyone.

    Best Regards,

    • O Wow! This is the most beautiful thing somebody said to me! Thank you Geraldine, my friend! You are incredible!

  4. Meher Chenoy

    That’s an interesting post Kumar. Thank you for an outstanding write-up. A lot to learn and implement from this post.

  5. Kumar,

    What a fascinating TED video you’ve included here.

    Fear of failure is exactly what keeps people from stepping into greatness.

    Let’s not stop at just being nice to nerds. Lets BE LOVE TO OTHERS.

    Kind Regards,

    • Thank you Bill. I am glad you enjoyed the video!



  6. ime ibanga

    Hi Kumar,

    I perceive that the ability to consciously and consistently self-regulate one’s internal dialogue (the operations of the inaudible thoughts and feelings)represents the beginnings of the awareness of one’s self-mastery for sustainable happiness and success! – ime ibanga

  7. Charmant

    This article is so powerful to challenge my life,too.fear,doubt can kill someone.thanks for sharing

  8. Focus on the things where is happening is really made my attention. Very well written Mr.Kumar. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Hi,
    Great post i really like it.
    Thanks for the useful sharing.

  10. Gauraw your writing so much practical, luv what you write!

    Nice to visit your blog!!

Please Note: My goal is to host interesting conversations with caring, honest, and respectful people. Therefore, I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic.