"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." ~Robert Brault [tweet this]
Just out of college, I was looking to start my career when I got introduced to this newly married couple. They were made for each other and especially I was fascinated by their love story with solid twists and turns. Soon we became good friends.
By the way, love marriages in India were still quite unusual in the society I lived, especially during those days. And those who did go that route, usually had a great story. This couple was in love since they were teenagers, carried their relationship through college, started working in corporate world and of course, had their own share of challenges. Meanwhile they managed to convince their parents for their marriage and it all worked out great. They were now having a great time in their new roles as husband and wife team.
Fast forward just a year and half into their marriage and they ended up getting divorced. Now, they hate each other and one can't stop criticizing the other for why this relationship ended this way. Nobody who knew them expected this tragic end to their marriage. But it did.
I don't intend to recount this tragic story to pass a judgment of who was right or wrong between the two. However, this story is a cautionary tale, an example for us to learn a few things about life. It is a reminder that all of us are only a few small stupid decisions away from destroying a healthy relationship, a career, a business or even our lives.
I doubt that they woke up one morning, didn't like each other and decided to get separated. I don't think they had planned it in advance to get married, try for about a year and then take a divorce to be adventurous either. So, what caused a decade old love story to end up in such bitterness so quickly after marriage?
Elephants don't bite; it's mosquitoes that get you. [tweet this]
I think it was not one big thing or two that caused this pain for this couple. Both had a few things in them that the other did not like. As humans none of us are perfect. The husband liked to take a few drinks a week that wife didn't like and the wife dressed or behaved in certain ways that the husband didn't appreciate. But these issues were there with them since ever they met and both ignored it all until the marriage. However, as they started to live together, both felt that the other now needed to change and the seeds of bitterness started to take roots.
Long story short, they made their decisions to get divorced and moved on with their individual lives. But their story reminds of the things in life we take for granted. It reminds us of how much we fight to win somebody's heart, to succeed at the new business that we start, or, to get that dream job. And then – we let complacency get in our way, we start to take things for granted and destroy that excitement, and in the end, that relationship or that dream!
All that we say and do – matters and makes an impact on our lives. All our words and actions have their consequences and therefore, we must be intentional about our lives.
Here are the 5 important things I think we ought to take care of on a daily basis in order to protect us from the disease of complacency. I hope you find them useful as I found them personally:
- To live intentionally, we need to know our major purpose in life. We must identify that purpose, write down our dreams and goals and review them everyday.
- We must learn to count our blessings everyday. Feeling negative is automatic about anything. But it takes conscious effort to develop a positive mental attitude and we must be intentional about it.
- When we get an urge to do new things, ask to self, "By this activity, am I moving ahead in the direction of my life's major purpose?" If the answer is not positive – do not do it.
- We all can get distracted once in a while and that is when the master mind alliance is so important. We need a support group of people we love and trust so that they can help us get back on track when we do get off the track.
- Develop a habit of finding good in other people. For example, identify at least 3 people everyday to give them some compliments about the good things they have within themselves. This makes a tremendous difference not only in their lives, but in ours as well.
Your Turn To Share
Why do you think people lose the excitement about things they were once passionate about? Why does that love, that passion fade away after sometime and how do you suggest one can keep that passion, that love – alive? Please share your thoughts in the comments now.